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RANT-'o-the-Week:I
Am Big, It's The Pixels That Got Small
Ran onto this at Woot.com,
one of those web sites that offers great bargains on a totally
random basis. (They
find cheap things and offer them until they sell them, at which
point they offer another cheap thing.) But as a twist, they also
run a very funny blog and even some funny contests. Here is a
snippet from this week's:
Everybody's all agog over the rise of high-definition
TV and high-definition DVDs and high-definition Etch-A-Sketch,
for all we know. But has anyone stopped to consider how high-def
viewing might change our perceptions of our most beloved works
of filmed entertainment? We have. And now you will, too. In
honor of this weekend's orgiastic tribute to strapless gowns
known
as the Academy Awards, your challenge:
Show us a previously obscured detail in an Academy Award-winning
film that might change the way you look at the movie when viewed
in hi-def.
I'm
guessing that they will find very few examples. Oh, I'm all
in favor of the new design, the wider format TV, in concept.
Matches the movies unless the movie in question was in CinemaScope.
But...
I
replaced a large and heavy tube TV some months back with
a smaller and much lighter flat-screen and digital TV that can
just sit up on the mantlepiece. Odd to be downsizing but I
have
noted over the years that people with those really huge TV
sets sit farther away from them. Buying a $3000 television seems
more
of
a
statement about the size of the room or about the poor state of
your
eyes. I also watch TV maybe a few hours a week. Mostly, I
listen to the news on it, cranking up the volume so I can hear
it
back in the office. Some of you would say I need a TV in
the office too. And the bedroom and, perhaps the bathroom. No,
I don't.
I
opted to upgrade to digital TV reception while I was at it.
A cheerful Brighthouse contract employee zoomed up, ran to
the
house (he
gets paid by the job), installed some sort of box and handed
me a remote that had more buttons than does the Space Shuttle.
"Where
are the instructions for all this?" I asked as he ran
for his pickup truck.
"There
are no instructions." The technician said as he drove
off.
I
could detail the woes and tribulations I endured over the
next few days and weeks, but I would only get angry again.
I actually
never saw anything in digital format. I could never get anything
to work. I exchanged the cable company's equipment—which
was broken, so they said—for new stuff. Nothing. I finally
took
the box
and
the
mysterious remote back and had them change me back to being
a non-digital customer. So now I have a digital screen that
shows a picture in the middle of it. And I'm just as happy
as before. In fact, I'm happier; in the course of all this
I managed to renegotiate my monthly rate and save about $25
a month.
Now
I read that all TV programming must be digital—by act
of Congress—within a few years anyway. Two local stations
are already broadcasting that way and one of those is not even
scrambled, so I see that one thing in full-screen. My question:
When all transmission must be digital, do I have to pay extra,
and have special equipment, to receive it? Or do I go back
to just listening to the radio?
And
that would be just fine with me. I recently discovered that
I can actually use that TV as a computer monitor. Might be
time to just upgrade my monitor, tell Brighthouse to take a
hike with their TV cable thing, and renew my library card....
ESSAY: Where
Opportunity Lies
by Judith Burnett Schneider
I scored 800 in the Logic section of my GREs, so it’s only
natural for me to like things to make sense. I’m no Einstein,
but I like it when blonde people have blonde eyebrows; that just
makes sense. When I meet a couple, I like when they look as though
they belong together. Otherwise, I’ve got a puzzle to solve – to
figure out why they ended up together. And even though it’s
not always possible to come up with logical answers in life,
I like to understand why people behave the way they do.
Which is why I never get it when some writers do all the
work they do, only to let it fizzle when an agent or editor
asks for
a change. I knew a writer once who wrote an 80,000-word
romantic suspense novel. In just a short time, the author
was able to
attract a large house editor’s attention. The editor loved
the characters and the plot but wanted the writer to heighten
the whole thing, adding at least one more subplot and increasing
the word count to 100,000.
Although I can identify with the dread of going back through
a project when you thought it was as complete as it could
be, I didn’t at all understand this writer’s reaction. Continue
reading "Where
Opportunity Lies"
Judith Burnett Schneider teaches
our Personal Essay Writing course—when she teaches it. I'm
trying to persuade her
to take it up once again.
I think she writes a heck of an essay. Let me know if you want
her to teach you how to do the same.
Some comments of my own: It's not a stretch to
add, or subtact, a subplot and bulk up or thin down a book manuscript.
You can get carried away, as I did once, when an agent complained
that I seemed to have written all my books simultaneously and
wanted one huge cover wrapped around the collection. Then there
is the book I just finished, by popular mystery author Robert
W. Parker. Parker was either told to add a subplot or realized
when he finished that the manuscript was too short. He didn't
write a subplot, he wrote an entire 3-4 chapter "case" for his
detective, one that had nothing at all to do with the main book,
and stuck it in the middle. He can get away with this because
(a) his are character-driven books. We like to read about Spenser
the detective, love the dialogue, and don't much care what Spenser
is actually doing. And (b) Parker is a giant in the mystery genre
and can do whatever he pleases.
I've also seen the flip side of bowing to the wishes
of an agent or publisher. Some demands really are absurd. I had
a publisher tell me to change my main character from a man to
a woman because female private eyes were all the rage. (I think
that was the year that Sue Grafton was president of Mystery Writers
of America.) I did so, mildly curious as to how that would work
anyway. My wife was bemused at my sudden interest in women's
clothing as I raided her closets, and my female character came
out sounding a little more like a confused transvestite than
a woman. The editor said she loved it; the publisher's marketing
people rejected it because it was a story with a female lead
and written by a man and how could I possible attend book signings?
Neither editor, agent, nor me knew what that was all about. Suffice
to say, some irresponsible or untrained or flat-out ignorant
people sometimes make silly suggestions that result in a lot
of work for you with no promise of any result. Me, I was just
glad to get out of those hot pantyhose and go back to a male
lead.
CONTEST: Received the following from Lynn Goodwin. I once had a web
site called
writerSadvice.com (with an S). Goodwin had the better name, I
never did a thing with my site, and killed it off last year.
SECOND
ANNUAL FLASH PROSE CONTEST
SPONSORED BY WRITER ADVICE Writer Advice, www.writeradvice.com,
is searching for flash fiction, memoir, and creative non-fiction that grabs,
surprises, and mesmerizes readers in under 750 words. If you have a complete
story with a strong theme, sharp images, a solid structure, and an unexpected
discovery, please submit it to the WriterAdvice Flash Prose Contest.
All
entries should be typed and submitted in hard copy, not e-mail,
to B. Lynn Goodwin, Writer Advice, P.O. Box 2665, Danville,
CA 94526-4339. Entries must be postmarked no later than APRIL
15, 2007.
You
may enter UP TO THREE pieces. Enclose a $10 check for EACH
entry made payable to B. Lynn Goodwin. This will help defray
the costs of the contest. If no prizes are awarded, checks
will be refunded.
Include
a separate cover sheet with your name, address, phone number,
current e-mail address, and each story title. Please put the
story title, but not your name, at the top of each page. Finalists
will be asked to submit a brief biography and an e-mail copy
of the story.
Names of all winners will be announced in the June – July issue of Writer
Advice, www.writeradvice.com.
JUDGES:
Last year’s prizewinners Lyn Halper, Jen Hurley, Kirsten
Beachy, and Mary Vallo are this year’s judges. Read their
pieces and biographies by clicking on the Archived Contest
Entries.
PRIZES:
Winning stories will be published in Writer Advice. In addition,
First Place earns $60, Second Place earns $30, Third Place
earns $20, and Fourth Place earns $15. Honorable Mentions will
also be published. A list of all winners will be posted in
the June – July issue of WriterAdvice.
SPECIAL
PERK: All entries accompanied by an SASE will be returned with
brief comments.
FEEDBACK: Got
a response? Write to me with:
Your
news about your writing
Suggestions
for the school
An
essay to be featured in the newsletter
Whatever
else I need to know
The
above might be printed. I usually use first names only. If
you wish something different, or want a web site mentioned,
tell me.
